Tears or laughter? Choose one. Peace or Joy? Again, chose one. To keep going or to give up? It’s up to you to decide but at the end of the day, you still have to make a choice. I was still in college, in my second year. My sweet mother had taken ill, the only reliable support I had at that time. I didn’t know how to deal, so I dealt with it how I best knew how to; “Suffer in silence”. I was in and out of different homes, none of them really felt like home. I missed my mum. I missed our house and how things used to be. I was broke and how I pulled through every single day, was by Grace. I didn’t know where the next meal would come from, or where next I would spend the night. At times I didn’t know who next to visit. My list of “where to go next” was pretty exhausted. I had visited every person I could think of.
During one of the school breaks I decided to pay a friend of mine a visit, his name’s Joshua. He was and he’s still, a great friend of mine. He was the kind of friend I would be in trouble at any given time, be it in the middle of the day or deep into the night, that I would always reach out to and he would come through to bail me out. He had a beautiful heart, though a strange sense of human. He taught me how to eat, I mean plenty and still not gain weight.
So, I was his guest for that break, two weeks. Away from family and any person who I had a direct relationship with. For the first time, in a long while, I felt like I was home. I believe God had intended for all that to happen. I would go to bed in varied hours. There was no specific time I would go to bed or wake up. And for the most parts that I was awake, I would be on my laptop. It’s not like it was the greatest machine ever. But it was special to me. It wasn’t any of the new brands, it was a Toshiba, Tecra A8. While people bragged about their own being current and talk about how beat up mine was. I was content. Because I had assembled it. In the midst of pain, confusion, isolation, rejection, financial crisis and loneliness, I got it to work for me and it served me well and still serves me. It still serves as another extension of me. Someday, we’ll talk about it.
Every moment I spent on that machine, I would write code. Most of which didn’t work, but the few that did, made me feel great. I called that feeling a “Yay feeling” because all those moments that my code ran, were “yay moments.” I had countable success with writing code. It was hard and at one time I just shut everything down, shed a tear, then the memories of all I had been through began streaming back into my head. The voices that laughed at me were even louder and even those of discouragement. I left everything as it was and headed straight to bed. My friend had a habit of going to sleep with his radio on, on a Christian channel; hope FM. I listened to the worship songs while in bed as I stared into the dark emptiness in the room and finally dozed off.
In the middle of the night, I had a voice and this is what is said, “that’s your life, you are on the right track.” To date, I can’t clearly say how that did happen because when I woke up there were no lights and the radio was off for the first time since I paid the visit. Though I took it lightly to heart, I gave the efforts I could, doubtably. I got up went to my machine, and the same lines of codes that didn’t run the previous night and the days before, I surprisingly managed to get them to work and that how it all began. The new life of mine, and the journey into the creation of digital concepts.
Not every person will have the same story as mine. Yours may be a little different. But, truly speaking. God speaks and leaves trails of clues for you to follow. Yours might have been passed down to you. The question is, did u listen or are you still listening? Don’t let it pass you by. Remember, he sustains what he’s initiated, blessed and given a clear go ahead. So, are you on the right path? Are you following the clues given?